Author: admin (Page 6 of 20)
Showcasing cars that only 0.01% of the population can afford, are MASSIVELY environmentally unfriendly and serve no purpose other than to be big and ugly gas-guzzlers.
This is why the NYT is failing
An American professor is sent to darkest Africa to live with a primitive tribe.
He spends years with them, teaching them reading, writing, math, and science.
One day the wife of the tribe’s chief gives birth to a white child. The members of the tribe are shocked, so the chief pulls the professor aside and says, “Look here! You’re the only white man we’ve ever even seen and now this woman gives birth to a white child. It doesn’t take a genius to figure out what happened!”.
The professor replies, “Chief, you’re mistaken. What you have here is a natural occurrence — what we in the civilized world call an albino! Look in that field over there”, the professor says, pointing. “All of the sheep are white except for that one black one there by the tree. Nature does this on occasion”.
The chief was thoughtfully silent for a moment, then says, “Tell you what. You don’t say anything more about the sheep and I won’t say anything more about the baby”.
The Ctrl-Alt-Direction key sequence is supposed to be used for changing your workspace. On my computer at work it changes the screen orientation.
Ctrl-Alt-Up – right side up
Ctrl-Alt-Right – 90 degrees
Ctrl-Alt-Down – 180 degrees
Ctrl-Alt-Left – 270 degrees
Not that I would, but people who leave their computer’s unattended need to have this happen to them. Often.
A man decides to take the opportunity while his wife is away to paint the toilet seat.
The wife comes home sooner than expected, sits, and gets the seat stuck to her rear. She is understandably distraught about this and asks her husband to drive her to the doctor.
She puts on a large overcoat so as to cover the stuck seat, and they go.
When they get to the doctor’s, the man lifts his wife’s coat to show their predicament. The man asks, “Doctor, have you ever seen anything like this before?”
“Well, yes,” the doctor replies, “but never framed.”
A woman takes a lover home during the day while her husband is at work.
Her 9-year old son comes home unexpectedly, he sees them and hides in the bedroom closet to watch.
The woman’s husband also comes home. She puts her lover in the closet, not realizing that the little boy is in there already.
The little boy says, ‘Dark in here.’
The man says, ‘Yes, it is.’
Boy: ‘I have a baseball.’
Man: ‘That’s nice’
Boy: ‘Want to buy it?’
Man: ‘No, thanks.’
Boy: ‘My Dad’s outside.’
Man: ‘OK, how much?’
Boy: ‘$250’
In the next few weeks, it happens again that the boy and the lover are in the closet together.
Boy: ‘Dark in here.’
Man: ‘Yes, it is.’
Boy: ‘I have a baseball glove.’
The lover, remembering the last time, asks the boy, ‘How much?’
Boy: ‘$750’
Man: ‘Sold.’
A few days later, the Dad says to the boy , ‘Grab your glove, let ‘s go outside and have a game of catch.’ The boy says, ‘I can’t , I sold my baseball and my glove.’
The Dad asks, ‘How much did you sell them for?’
Boy: ‘$1,000’
The Dad says, ‘That’s terrible to over charge your friends like that…that is way more than those two things cost. I’m taking you to church, to confession.’
They go to the church and the Dad makes the little boy sit in the confessional booth and closes the door.
The boy says, ‘Dark in here.’
The priest says, ‘Don’t start that shit again; you’re in my closet now.’
