– At a London party, a socialist MP from Liverpool, on having her fill of an inebriated Winston Churchill:
Bessie Bradock: “Winston, you’re drunk!”
Winston Churchill: “You’re right, Bessie. And you’re ugly. But tomorrow morning, I’ll be sober.”

– Nancy Astor, an American socialite, fed up with an inebriated Churchill’s pompous behaviour, blurted: “Winston, if you were my husband, I’d put posion in your coffee.” Without the bat of an eyelash, Churchill replied: “Nancy, if you were my wife, I’d drink it.”

– In 1931, a reporter calls out to Gandhi:
Reporter: “What do you think of Western civilization?”
Gandhi: “I think it would be a good idea.”

– Muhammad Ali, on an Eastern Airlines flight in the ’70’s when asked to buckle his seatbelt by a flight attendant:
Muhammed Ali: “Superman don’t need no seatbelt.”
Flight Attendant: “Superman don’t need no airplane either.”

– The writer Truman Capote, signing an authograph for a drunken man’s wife in a Key West bar. The man, obviously preturbed by hi wife’s interest in another man, unzips his fly and presents himself to Capote:
Man: “Since you are signing autographs, why don’t you autograph this?”
Capote: “I don’t know if I can autograph it, but perhaps I can initial it.”