“The problem with the world is that everyone is few drinks behind.” – Humphery Bogart

“A woman drove me to drink and I didn’t even have the decency to thank her.” – W.C. Fields

“I feel sorry for the people who don’t drink, when they wake up in the morning, that’s as good as they’re going to feel all day.” – Frank Sinatra

“You’re not a drunk if you can lie on the floor without holding on.” – Dean Martin

“When I read about the evils of drinking, I gave up reading.” – Henny Youngman

“Drinking removes warts and wrinkles from women I look at.” – Jackie Gleason

“Alcohol is the anesthesia by which we endure the operation of life.” – George Bernard Shaw

“Always do sober what you said you’d do drunk. That will teach you to keep your mouth shut.” – Ernest Hemingway

“Work is the curse of the drinking classes.” – Oscar Wilde