Giving money and power to Government is like giving whiskey and car keys to teenage boys.
— P.J. O’Rourke

While you are away, movie stars are taking your women. Robert Redford is dating your girlfriend, Tom Selleck is kissing your lady, Bart Simpson is making love to your wife.
— Clueless Iraqi radio announcer, Baghdad Betty, trying to demoralize our Gulf War troops.

I want to be reincarnated as your tampon
— Prince Charles, 1991

We may be finding that in some blacks, when the choke hold is applied, the veins or arteries do not open up like in normal people.
— Daryl Gates, former L.A. police chief and complete idiot.

Don’t be humble. You’re not that great.
— Golda Meir

It is now quite lawful for a Catholic woman to avoid pregnancy by resorting to mathematics, though she is still forbidden to resort to physics or chemistry.
— H. L. Mencken

Mothers are fonder than fathers of their children because they are more certain they are their own.
— Aristotle

They couldn’t hit an elephant at this dist–
— Last words of Union commander General John Sedgwick, spoken as he was watching enemy troops at the Battle of Spotsylvania Court House.

Spatial + temporal ubiquity
(any time-any place)