Nasty

A local bakery decided to hire a part-time counter person and ended up with a local co-ed who could work evenings and weekends.

She had one eccentric characteristic (which was unknown when she was hired) she wore short skirts and no underwear. Needless to say she was a real beauty and had a figure to die for.

The bakery has a small storefront so it was necessary to have the various products on shelves and then use a ladder to reach the uppermost items. The item that had previously been least popular but was fast becoming the most popular with gentlemen in particular was rasin bread, which was kept on the uppermost
shelf.

One day an elderly gentleman came in and ordered a loaf of bread. The young lady without thinking scurried up the ladder and then realized she had not asked the gentleman what kind of bread he had wanted so she nodded and asked, “Raisin?”

“No, he replied but it is beginning to twitch just a little.”

The funeral parlor called the 85 year old widow to tell her that her 90 year old husband had died with such a massive erection that he could not close the lid of the coffin. He had never seen such seen such a big pecker.

Well she said “Cut it off as close to his body as you can then put it up his ass”.

The next day the whole family arrived at the funeral home to pay their respects and the widow knelt down near her departed husband and noticed there was a tear coming down his cheek. She leaned over and whispered in his ear “I told you it hurt, you old fucker.