Ward, come upstairs and talk to The Beaver.
— June (Mrs. Frisky) Cleaver

A woman, occasionally, is quite a serviceable substitute for masturbation.
— Karl Kraus

“Don’t marry for money; you can borrow it cheaper.”
— Scottish Proverb

“The last time I was in a woman I was visiting the Statue of Liberty.”
— Woody Allen

“I have never understood the female capacity to avoid a direct answer to any question.”
— Spock,”This Side of Paradise”, stardate 3417.3