Smoking kills. If you’re killed, you’ve lost a very important part of your life.
— Brooke Shields, on why she wanted to become spokesperson for a federal antismoking campaign.

It is more profitable for your congressman to support the tobacco industry than your life.
— Jackie Mason

Isn’t there any other part of the matzo you can eat?
— Marilyn Monroe, after being served matzoball soup three meals in a row.

Bachelors should be heavily taxed. It’s not fair that some men should be happier than others.
— Oscar Wilde

A husband is what is left of the lover after the nerve has been extracted.
— Helen Rowland

Everyday people are straying away from the church and going back to God.
— Lenny Bruce

Who ever heard of Casablanca? I don’t want to star opposite some unknown Swedish broad.– George Raft, on the role of Rick in Casablanca.

Bite the wax tadpole.
— Coca-Cola name as originally translated into Chinese (later changed to “May the mouth rejoice”).

Pepsi brings your ancestors back from the grave.
— Ad slogan “Pepsi comes alive” as initially translated into Chinese.