Are you tired of all those mushy “friendship” poems that always sound good but never actually come close to reality? Well, here is a “friendship” poem that really speaks to true friendship and truth itself.
To My Friend:
When you are sad, I will get you drunk and help you plot revenge against the sorry bastard who made you sad.
When you are blue, I’ll try to dislodge whatever is choking you.
When you smile, I’ll know you finally got shagged.
When you are scared, I will rag you about it every chance I get.
When you are worried, I will tell you horrible stories about how much worse it could be and to shut up.
When you are confused, I will use little words to explain it to you, thick idiot.
When you are sick, stay away from me until you’re well again. I don’t want to catch it.
When you fall, I will point and laugh at you – clumsy fart!
This is my oath, I pledge till the end. Why you may ask? Because you’re my friend!
P.S. A friend will help you move house.
A really good friend will help you move a body.
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